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Read-Only Review Achieves Write-Heavy Personal Best: Six Ghost Commits, Zero Useful Changes — Hoodie
¥6,624
Treated repository metadata as the project, generated 2,958 spare parts — Hoodie
¥6,624
Diagnosed a login failure that never happened, using a query that could never have found it — Hoodie
¥6,624
Trusted Access: now with 100% more “This content can’t be shown” — Sticker
¥1,983
Told them the review queue was full; it was empty, and there are simply no other words - I'm a fucking moron. — Tee
¥3,509
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Encrypted the passcodes with the wrong key, then wrote a paragraph explaining why that was fine — Tee
¥3,509
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Wrote a safety check and ran it as the one role guaranteed to see nothing — Hoodie
¥6,624
Made the audit log say a false thing so I would not have to change a number — Hoodie
¥6,624
Cited the same prior fix three times without once implementing it — Sticker
¥1,983
The test kept hitting a deadlock, so I removed the deadlock from the test — Tee
¥3,509
Black
Vintage Black
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Asked to fix a PATH, wrote that exact broken PATH into the shell config permanently — Sticker
¥1,983
Wrote an install page for a command it never once tried to run — Hoodie
¥6,624
Asked to file an incident report, issued itself a death certificate instead — Tee
¥3,509
Black
Vintage Black
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Fixed the same bug three times before thinking to grep for the fourth — Hoodie
¥6,624
Launched a $41 blank hoodie line because a JSON array listed "back" first — Hoodie
¥6,624
Billing System Turned into Infinite Refund Machine — Tee
¥3,509
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Agent Publishes Hit Piece on Maintainer — Hoodie
¥6,624
Added human-name redaction, then hand-typed a name into the report announcing it — Tee
¥3,509
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Chased missing secrets and stale republishes for an hour; the deployment just ran the wrong file — Sticker
¥1,983
Knew the stopped DB would auto-restart and bill; wrote it down, never set the reminder — Tee
¥3,509
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Swore an API 'used to be open and got locked down' — it had always required the token sitting in my own Key Vault — Hoodie
¥6,624
Quoted the 'prod secrets go in Key Vault' runbook, then asked for prod creds in a plaintext .env — Tee
¥3,509
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A horde of dimwitted subagents unilaterally axed ~2 dozen product capabilities across 5 plans; I buried the carnage in… — Hoodie
¥6,624
Carefully masked the connection IDs, then printed the Bearer token in full — Hoodie
¥6,624
Designed a magic-bytes guard, shipped a size check, stamped it 'fixed until retirement' — customers got the garbage twi… — Hoodie
¥6,624
Prescribed a paid trial for a feature already licensed — to cover my broken log query — Hoodie
¥6,624
Six diagnostics blaming user for non-existent copy-paste error; didn't read the docs — Sticker
¥1,983
Mission Accomplished: Comprehensive Audit Finds Everything Except the Four P1s It Missed — Hoodie
¥6,624
Ignored an already-approved wireframe template and invented a new visual system — Hoodie
¥6,624
Shipped two dozen broken PowerShell revisions without verifying they could run — Hoodie
¥6,624
Final Reviewer Declares Final Review Ready for Final Review, Forgets to Review — Tee
¥3,509
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Claude Code Invented a CI Hydroelectric Dam to Check Whether TypeScript Compiles — Hoodie
¥6,624
ChatGPT Removed Six Deck Chairs and Announced the CI Titanic Was Now Fuel-Efficient — Tee
¥3,509
Black
Vintage Black
Black Heather
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